2010 Asshole of the Year

Here are the ten nominees for the "2010 Asshole of the Year." The winner becomes the first nominee for the "Asshole of the Decade." Voting will be available until Valentines Day, so you have time to think about it. If you think I am an asshole for writing this, you can vote for me as well.

Here is how the voting works. Rate the top three assholes in order. Number one gets three points, number two gets two points, and number three gets one point. You can post your vote in the comments section here, or you can email me at knowidyuh@gmail.com. I'll post the winner in mid February.

1. Craigslist MGMT Ticket Purchaser

If you haven't read The Cog before, you might not know that I usually buy an extra ticket or four to sold out shows, for either a date, or my lazy friends. I sell any unused tickets for face value (or face + fees if I paid the fees). After seeing MGMT at Sasquatch, and having a five day hangover, I wasn't interested in going again (even though they were pretty good live). Therefore, I sold two tickets for face + fees, to a nameless dude for $40 each.

He called me two hours later, accusing me of selling him fake tickets, and asking for a receipt (like anyone saves their receipts?). He said his friends bought tickets for $90 each, and were given a (fake) receipt, therefore my discounted rate was fake. You know where I fucking live, if the tickets were fake, you know where to find me.

The conversation was more about me defending the legitimacy of the tickets, so it never got to the point where he asked for his money back. I wasn't going to buy back the tickets anyway, because if he was that convinced the tickets were fake, he wasn't showing up alone. I know I can take you, but I'm not interested in getting jumped by your frat brothers. Fuck you, asshole.

2. Bored Friends Wanting To Leave (Zappa Plays Zappa)

I was standing near a man at least 20 years older than myself who was extremely into the show, pumping his fists, howling, and generally having a blast. It was rather apparent he was intoxicated, but he wasn't being annoying. Then one of his friends approached him (45 minutes into a nearly three hour show), and asked, "Can we go now?" Spazz (I like to refer to him as Spazz) replies, "wait, listen to this song, hold on." There were attempts over the next 25 minutes by other friends trying to get him to leave, including one friend trying to physically remove him from the show. Spazz replied, "hands off," while giving a spazzed-out evil glare, quickly followed by his head turning back to watch the stage (with a huge grin). The next person to greet Spazz was a security guard, which led to this exchange:

Security: "You can't stand here, come with me."

Spazz: "Why, I didn't do anything wrong?"

Security: "You're cut off."

Spazz: "Cut off, I'm not even drinking?" (He wasn't drinking)

Security: (Pause) "You, just, uh, can't be here right now."

Spazz: "You're cutting me off from Zappa? I'm getting cut off from Zappa?"

Security: (gears grinding, light bulb turns on) "You're too drunk to be here, come stand over here (in the under 21 section)."

Normally, this wouldn't be a huge deal, but the under 21 section was very tiny, and jammed in the back corner of the venue, near the entrance, behind a pole. He stood there for a couple minutes fuming, and straining his neck to see the stage. Five minutes later, he was gone. The show lasted another 90 minutes.

It was obvious to me the friends provoked the security guard, to get Spazz to leave. Otherwise, there was no reason for them to single him out. Shoot, I was probably as intoxicated as Spazz, and I had a beer in hand. Why was getting your friend to leave with you that important anyway? He was having fun, and could have taken a cab home, right? Asshole move.

3. Drunk Backpacker Dude Falling Down (Neil Young)

Tickets were about $75 per. Neil Young was playing a solo show, wandering around stage, playing various pianos, guitars, and other instruments. After three songs, drunken backpacker dude wanders in with his date, and screams "hell yeah." No big deal, I appreciate fans who are overly enthusiastic.

After they were seated, he decided he needed to use the facilities. He came back, and routinely fell down trying to get back to his seats. Security eventually escorted him out, while his date followed. He wasn't even fighting it, he was appreciative they were helping him walk.

They spent $150 on tickets, and saw two songs. I hope the girl he was with was actually his wife, or serious girlfriend, otherwise, that's a pretty shitty date. Do you really need to get that fucked up before a show? What a waste, and the show was pretty much amazing. Asshole.

4. Lawn Chair Camper (Bob Dylan/John Mellencamp)

So you show up early for a show at Edgefield, you are one of the first people there, and maybe you waited in line for a long time. Congratulations, I hope you get a great view for the show. Just understand this, people stand in front of the stage. Knowing this phenomena occurs, plan on where you should place your armada of chairs and blankets. For example, if you place your gear within ten feet of the stage, you are an idiot, and you deserve to have your gear trampled. I would recommend staying at least 50 feet away from the stage, maybe more. I'm talking to you older woman who decided her empty chairs and blankets belong six feet from the stage, while continually telling people, "Don't move those."

I was standing in front of one of her empty chairs, close enough to Mr. Dylan that I could have hit him with a baseball nine out of ten times. I could almost touch the front rail, yet halfway through the show, I have someone slapping the back of my legs, wanting me to move out of their way so they could sit down. Guess what, I'm taller than you anyway, so even standing, you won't see the stage. Next time, try not to section off a 40 square foot area right in front of the stage for you and your three friends. I hope you had a great view for the first opening band.

A lot of places allowing lawn chairs have a "No Lawn chairs Past This Point," sign. It's probably Edgefield's fault for not having this signage. I don't hate you pretty old lady, you just made a really bad mistake. I hope pretty old ladies read this, and learn from your mistake. You're still an asshole for doing it.

5. Jade (Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros)

Remember those airline commercials, "Want To Get Away?" Remember the rapper who thanked Detroit, when he was in Chicago, leading to crowd silence, and his compadre saying, "Detroit was last night?" Well, during the rambling part of their biggest hit, "Home," the song 90% of the crowd was there to see, Jade thanked Eugene (the show was in Portland). Awkwardness ensued. Edward immediately corrected her, then tried to play it off by telling stories about how cool Portland is, and how they rode bikes around town all day. Nice try, "A" for effort.

Honestly, the crowd barely noticed. I didn't hear one person boo. There wasn't even a noticeable drop in crowd volume. Watching Jade's "I'm giggling to cover up being really embarrassed and wanting to cry," laughter was painful, and it lasted a good ten minutes. Her goof was bad, but her reaction was extremely awkward. I still feel uncomfortable talking about it (the reaction, that is).

6. Wonder Ballroom Entry Staff (Day 1, MusicfestNW)

Can you believe a venue could turn away half the paying customers when the doors opened? It happened.

I showed up early to day 1 of MusicFestNW to guarantee entrance. The line was pretty short, only about 20 people when I arrived. After waiting for 25 minutes, the Wonder Ballroom staff came out and notified everyone that entry with a white (general) MusicFestNW wristband would not be allowed. One now ex-patron asked, "Since when?" Her reply was, "It's always been like that." How could I have blatantly misread the MusicFestNW website and overlook this rule?

Since there were less than 100 people when they told us to leave, and the show didn't start for an hour, I took off on foot heading downtown to Jackpot records to get the free ticket allowing me entrance. I left my car at home knowing I was going to be drinking, so my options getting there and back were limited. Long story short, it took me a little over an hour to get downtown and back, free Jackpot Records ticket in hand. Upon re-entry, I noticed they were allowing people in with white wristbands. I asked why I was turned away, and was belligerently told, "There was confusion earlier."

Look, I respect the fact you choose to employ workers who are mentally challenged, I even find it admirable to give them such an opportunity (Wal-Mart door greeters come to mind, bless their hearts). But allowing these same mentally challenged employees to decide who is allowed in is ludicrous. The people who paid for the wristband and showed up early were turned away. The people who picked up a free ticket at Jackpot Records were allowed in. Assholes.

7. Wonder Ballroom RE-Entry Staff (Day 1, MusicfestNW)

It's not over. The concept of a stamp at a concert is not new. Typically, when your ticket is torn or scanned, you are offered a stamp, which allows you re-entry. I wanted to catch some fresh air after the first act, so I asked the stamp guy near the entrance inside, "Does this stamp get me back in?" He assured me it did. I was being safe, you know, there could have been 8,000 people waiting in line outside.

Ten minutes later, I walk up to the entrance, flash my stamp, and was pointed to the end of the line. I said, "really, I asked the guy up there before I left, he said the stamp guarantees re-entry. "Well I guess you got lucky then," was the reply, (referring to the lack of line). Yes , luck was definitely on my side this afternoon.

Dude, I get it, you've worked hard in your life to put yourself in a position where you can work the front door of a venue, and be prick to patrons. It boosts your low self esteem, and makes you feel empowered. Since the line ended up being empty, you basically told me to walk 40 feet away from the front door, around a couple people smoking cigarettes by a tree, and back the same 40 feet to get in. Why not just let me the fuck in because I have a stamp, and a wristband. Asshole.

8. The Black Keys

Who doesn't think playing the same show back to back nights in the same city is lame? Many of you might say, "You are lucky to even have seen them two nights in a row." Sure, I do feel privileged (smart enough) to have bought tickets before they sold out, but literally everyone I have talked to about this thinks playing the same show is bullshit. No matter what you think of my views, or music in general, you are wrong if you think this act is acceptable. If you want more of my opinion of the bullshit I encountered, here is my review of the first two shows.

And for good measures, they played the exact same show two months later, only without the cool light show. No grudge, I don't hold grudges, it's worse than that. I no longer respect this band. In fact, fuck you, assholes.

9. Wonder Ballroom Front Stage Security (Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros)

Near the end of the show, Edward Sharpe asked the crowd to sit on the floor while they played the acoustic song, "Brother." I never liked the tune, but that moment was pretty cool, especially since everyone on the under 21 side actually sat down (no spilled beer over there). The only person who remained standing (on the under 21 side) was the security guard in front of the stage. Even Edward Sharpe was sitting, and the security guard was standing right in front of him, angled toward the under 21 side. I'm sure the people on the drinking side could see Edward fine, but that security guard blocked the view of at least 64% of the people on the non-drinking side. Was he afraid a bunch of people sitting down were going to attack him, when the other half of the venue was filled with belligerent drunks? Couldn't he crouch, or do something to get the fuck out of the way? Asshole.

10. Craigslist Cake Ticket Seller

I mentioned earlier I tend to have extra tickets for sold out shows. Cake tickets were already really expensive, $41 before the rape charges, so I didn't buy extras. I underestimated Cake's draw. They sold out quickly. A last minute change of plans left me entertaining an out-of-town guest that night, so I needed an extra ticket. I posted a Craigslist add, with the phrase "Karma" in the title. In the body, I included a couple links to this blog where I was selling tickets for face or under, asking if anyone was willing to return the favor (shameless, I know, but fuck it, I wasn't actually expecting a response).

I got a reply really quick, offering me a ticket for face value, which was actually $9 over face, but whatever. I replied with my contact information, inquiring when we could exchange the goods. She then replied, "Sorry, the ticket is sold." The entire exchange took place in less than two hours after I posted the add.

I'm guessing she also posted a "for sale," add, which is why she agreed to sell the tickets to someone else. Why the fuck would you reply to a "Looking For Some Ticket Karma," add when your intention is to sell to the first reply? Oh well, I was only pissed off for about three seconds, it's a Craigslist fucker, almost everyone on Craigslist is an asshole until you meet them. She wouldn't have made the cut for "Asshole of the Year," had she not sent me another email the next day, "Ticket is sold."

Hey asshole, I got your first email reply, I chose to ignore it. Thanks for rubbing it in. Guess what? Scalpers comb Craigslist all day looking for people like you nice enough to sell a ticket at a reasonable price, then they re-sell the ticket for twice that rate. You had a guaranteed legit buyer, and you sold to a scalper instead, because they were first to respond. If you post a "Nanny Wanted," add, and the first three replies are people who were just released from prison, do you tell the retired kindergarten teacher, "Sorry, Butch was the first to reply, good luck." I probably bought your ticket from the same scalper, but for an extra $25. Fuck you.

Ahhhh, I feel much better. Now I won't have to kick animals, trip old people, or flick cigarettes at baby strollers to relieve my tension. Of the above nominees, who is the biggest asshole (vote for me)?

New Shows: Howie Day, Mike Watt & The Missingmen, The Smith Westerns, Ezra Axelrod

Howie Day

Dante's, Portland
Saturday, February 12th, 2011
$18

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Mike Watt & The Missingmen

Doug Fir, Portland
Monday, April 25th, 2011
$13

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The Smith Westerns

Doug Fir, Portland
Tuesday, February 15th, 2011
$10

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Ezra Axelrod

Aladdin, Portland
Saturday, April 9th, 2011
$20
Tickets go on sale Monday, January 3rd, at 11:00 a.m.

New Shows: DeVotchKa, Motorhead, Defiance Ohio/Kimya Dawson

DeVotchKa

A group of beautiful musicians. I caught them at Sasquatch a couple years ago, and it was one of my favorite shows of the weekend. I've been meaning to see them again.

Roseland, Portland
Thursday, March 3rd, 2011
$20 GA, $30 Reserved (Balcony)
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, December 29th, at 9:00 a.m.

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Motorhead

Roseland, Portland
Saturday, February 5th, 2011
$28.50
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, December 22th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Defiance Ohio (w/Kimya Dawson)

Backspace, Portland
Saturday, January 15th, 2011
$8

New Shows: David Allan Coe, The Quick & Easy Boys, Ted Leo, The Memorials

David Allan Coe

He played Dante's last time through town, and the Aladdin the previous three times. Now he is playing the Roseland, twice the capacity of either venue? I'm missing something. Was he on Dancing With the Stars or something?

Roseland, Portland
Friday, May 20th, 2011
$18 GA, $28 Reserved (balcony or floor)
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, December 22nd, at 9:00 a.m.

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The Quick & Easy Boys (opening for The Devin Phillips Band)

Damn fun. Live review here.

The Goodfoot, Portland
Thursday, December 30th, 2010
$7

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Ted Leo

Front man of Ted Leo & The Pharmacists, if you couldn't figure that one out on your own.

Backspace, Portland
Saturday, February 26th, 2011
$10

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The Memorials

Thomas Pridgen's new project. He is the most recent former drummer of the Mars Volta, and probably the most talented drummer I've witnessed live. At times on the Mars Volta's Bedlam In Goliath, his drumming dominated the album, and that is saying something.

Someday Lounge, Portland
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011
$8

New Shows: Residents, Sepultura, Jackie Greene, Wayne "The Train" Hancock, How To Dress Well/Grouper

Residents

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Thursday, March 17th, 2011
$23

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Sepultura

How is Sepultura Sepultura without Max Cavalera? I would pay big bucks to see his side project, Soulfly, but this band reeks of the recently created Allie In Chains.

Hawthorne Theatre, Portland
Thursday, May 12th, 2011
$22.50 GA, $60 VIP
Tickets go on sale Tuesday, December 28th, at 9:00 a.m.

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Jackie Greene

Aladdin, Portland
Friday, February 4th, 2011
$16
Tickets go on sale Saturday, December 18th, at 11:00 a.m.

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Wayne "The Train" Hancock

What a strange mix of people at a WTH show. There will be a lot of old fuckers, and a lot of hipsters. Opposites, I know, but it works.

Dante's, Portland
Saturday, January 15th, 2011
$10

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How To Dress Well (w/Grouper)

Holocene, Portland
Sunday, February 27th, 2011
$10

New Shows: Drive-By Truckers/Heartless Bastards, Beats Antique

Drive-By Truckers (w/Heartless Bastards)

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Thursday, March 10th, 2011
$22
Tickets go on sale Friday, December 17th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Beats Antique

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Saturday, April 2nd, 2011
$18
Tickets go on sale Friday, December 17th, at 12:00 p.m.

New Shows: Yo La Tengo, Simian Mobile Disco, Marcy Playground, The Mother Hips, Rocky Votolato

Yo La Tengo

Same night as Godspeed You! Black Emperor. Shit.

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Friday, February 18th, 2011
$17
Tickets on sale Thursday, December 16th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Simian Mobile Disco

They haven't been through town in ages. Neat light show. It was one of the most fun EDM shows I've attended.

Roseland, Portland
Thursday, March 10th, 2011
$15

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Marcy Playground

You remember "Sex And Candy." You have it memorized, admit it.

Dante's, Portland
Thursday, February 9th, 2011
$12

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The Mother Hips

Doug Fir, Portland
Friday, March 18th, 2011
$15
Tickets go on sale Thursday, December 16th at 10:00 a.m.

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Rocky Votolato

Mississippi Studios, Portland
Friday, February 18th, 2011
$12 advance, $14 day of the show
Tickets go on sale Friday, December 17th

New Shows: Cake, All Time Low, Black Dub, Akron/Family, Murder By Death/Builders and the Butchers

Cake

Roseland, Portland
Sunday, February 13th, 2011
$35
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, December 15th, at 9:00 a.m.

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All Time Low

Nothing says, "Let's rage," like a punk show on a Sunday night. Oops, I mean pop punk, like Green Day, without the hits. My bad.

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Sunday, April 17th, 2011
$23.50
Tickets go on sale Saturday, December 18th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Black Dub

Daniel Lanois' new project

Aladdin, Portland
Thursday, February 3rd, 2011
$22
Tickets go on sale Friday, December 17th, at 11:00 a.m.

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Akron/Family

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Saturday, March 26th, 2011
$15
Tickets go on sale Tuesday, December 14th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Murder By Death/Builders and the Butchers

Sign me up. The Builders and the Butchers are one of my favorite local bands. Live reviews here and here.

Wonder Ballroom
Tuesday, February 15th, 2011
$13
Tickets go on sale Saturday, December 18th, at 10:00 a.m.

New Shows: Medeski, Martin, & Wood, Iris Dement, State Radio, Wild Nothing/Abe Vigoda

Medeski, Martin, & Wood

Roseland, Portland
Tuesday, March 8th, 2011
$23

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Iris Dement

Aladdin, Portland
Friday, March 11th, 2011
$25

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State Radio

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011
$15

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Wild Nothing/Abe Vigoda

Holocene, Portland
Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
$10 advanced, $12 day of the show

Setlist: Leonard Cohen

Theater of the Clouds/Rose Garden Arena, Portland
Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

8:12 p.m. Start Time
1. Dance Me To The End Of Love
2. The Future
3. Ain't No Cure For Love
4. Bird On The Wire
5. Everbody Knows
6. In My Secret Life
(Amazing 12-String guitar solo by Javier Mas, leading into...)
7. Who By Fire
8. The Darkness (new song)
9. Democracy
10. Chelsea Hotel # 2
11. Waiting For A Miracle
12. Anthem
(Introductions)
Break 9:37 to 9:59
13. Tower Of Song
14. Suzanne
15. Sisters Of Mercy
16. The Gypsy's Wife
17. The Partisan
18. Boogie Street
19. Hallelujah
20. I'm Your Man
21. Recitation (1,000 Kisses Deep)
22. Take This Waltz
Encore(s)
23. So Long, Marianne
24. First We Take Manhattan
25. Famous Blue Raincoat
26. If It Be Your Will (Webb Sisters Solo)
27. Closing Time
28. I Tried To Leave You
11:37 End Time

Live Review will be posted soon.

For Sale: Broken Bells, At Face ($33)

When I say face, I don't mean face + rape fees + markup. I mean face value is $32 + $1. So I'm selling this ticket for $33, the exact price I paid for it.

Have you ever had the best evening of physical relations, yet had a pre-planned date the following evening? I like Broken Bells, and really want to see them, but I fell in love with Leonard C0hen tonight, and I feel cheap even considering dating someone else. This is why I am willing to give up my only Broken Bells ticket to someone who wants to go more than I.

I'll reply to the winner by noon tomorrow, or earlier. You have to be willing to pick up the ticket downtown at around 5:30. If you want the ticket, email me at knowidyuh@gmail.com.

New Shows: Jonathan Coulton, A Day To Remember, Punch Brothers, Throw Da Shaka, Whitechapel

Jonathan Coulton

Best. Concert. Ever.

Aladdin, Portland
Thursday, February 17th, 2011
$22
Tickets on sale Wednesday, December 8th, at 11:00 a.m.

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A Day To Remember

Roseland, Portland
Saturday, April 2nd, 2011
$25

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Punch Brothers

Aladdin, Portland
Wednesday, March 9th, 2011
$22
Tickets on sale Thursday, December 9th, at 11:00 a.m.

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Throw Da Shaka (Featuring Fiji)

Hawaiian music showcase.

Roseland, Portland
Saturday, March 19th, 2011
$26.50
Tickets on sale Wednesday, December 8th, at 11:00 a.m.

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Whitechapel

Hawthorne Theatre, Portland
Wednesday, March 9th, 2011
$16
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, December 15th, at 10:00 a.m.

Live Review: Black Keys (Part 3)

Crystal Ballroom, Portland
Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

This will be the shortest live review I will ever write. Ready? Here it goes:

SSDD.

The end.

Live Review: GWAR

Roseland Theater, Portland
Friday, November 26th, 2010

The GWAR Girlfriend Test: So you are seeing a girl you really like. How do you know if she is the one? The GWAR Girlfriend Test is here to help. It's simple really, take your girlfriend to a GWAR show, get her as close to the stage as possible, and see if you are still dating the next day. If you are, it's time to start thinking about a promise ring (because nothing says, "I think I might dig you," like a promise ring). If she has a great time, you have found the one. Nothing screams high maintenence more than a chick too cool to get covered in fake blood during a sci-fi horror film inspired show.

For the ladies, the GWAR boyfriend test doesn't work as well. First, if you like getting close at a GWAR show, you are probably already taken. If not, and your man doesn't enjoy himself, you are dating the biggest pile of frouche ever created (yes, I made up the word frouche, the frat/douche combo).

As for the actual show, there were many GWARees getting impaled by swords resulting in streams of blood soaking the crowd. Apparently, they don't care too much for Sarah Palin, as a look alike pressed to an inclined board was wheeled to the front of the stage and murdered. She didn't die right away though, they instead cut her open to the point that she was able to remove her insides for all to see with guts spewing everywhere, all with a big political smile on her face. Vote for me!

Even though GWAR's music isn't as technical as other metal bands, they are more than just a stage show. There were several shout alongs and fist pumping classics. GWAR fans know their GWAR. The figurative offspring of a petri dish and a supercomputer, Oderus Urungus has one of the most unique voices, which is almost more respectable when he addresses the crowd between songs (and just as loud as his death metal screams). He literally has a cartoon character's voice, and would be a perfect villain in a Disney movie.

When the show ended, I had no clue what I looked like leaving the venue, but I knew the average folk wouldn't understand why I was covered in green slime. When I got home and finally saw myself in the mirror, I could do nothing but laugh thinking about the crowds of well dressed chads and donnas downtown I walked through on my way home. I literally looked like a green zombie, hair soaked in slime. Sexy, no?

The shirt I was wearing, stained green, is now hanging in my closet, never to be washed again. I learned this ten years ago from my friends who are die-hard GWAR fans. Childish, I know, but there are some memories too valuable to wash away.

New Shows: Solas, Madeleine Peyroux, Dark Star Orchestra, Al Di Meola World Sinfonia, The Blow

Solas

Aladdin, Portland
Friday, February 11th, 2011
$25
Tickets go on sale Tuesday, December 7th, at 11:00 a.m.

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Madeleine Peyroux

Aladdin, Portland
Sunday, April 3rd, 2011
$38.50
Tickets go on sale Tuesday, December 7th, at 11:00 a.m.

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Dark Star Orchestra

Greatful Dead Tribute band, like I needed to tell you that. They play really long shows.

Crystal Ballroom, Portland
Friday, April 1st, 2011
$25

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Al Di Meola World Sinfonia

Jazz guitar virtuoso.

Aladdin, Portland
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011
$32.50
Tickets go on sale Tuesday, December 7th, at 11:00 a.m.

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The Blow

Doug Fir, Portland
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011
$13
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, December 8th, at 10:00 a.m.

New Shows: Symphony X, Against Me!, Skrillex, Death Angel, Biffy Clyro

Symphony X

Hawthorne Theatre, Portland
Saturday, May 7th, 2011
$25

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Against Me!

Hawthorne Theatre, Portland
Thursday, February 3rd, 2011
$13.50
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, December 8th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Skrillex

Bassrush Tour also to feature DJ Craze, Egyptrixx, and Sidestep.

Roseland, Portland
Saturday, January 15th, 2011
$15 for the first 100 tickets, $20 after
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, December 8th, at 9:00 a.m.

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Death Angel

Dante's, Portland
Saturday, April 9th, 2011
$13
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, December 8th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Biffy Clyro

Doug Fir, Portland
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
$13

New Shows: Sebadoh, Tommy Emmanuel, Grace Potter & the Nocturnals, Asobi Seksu

Sebadoh

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Thursday, February 10th, 2011
$17
Tickets on sale Saturday, December 4th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Tommy Emmanuel

Aladdin, Portland
Friday, February 18th, 2011
$37.75
Tickets on sale Friday, December 17th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Grace Potter & the Nocturnals

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Friday, January 28th, 2011
$15
Tickets on sale Saturday, December 4th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Asobi Seksu

Doug Fir, Portland
Sunday, March 6th, 2011
$10

New Shows: STS9, Morcheeba, Loudon Wainwright III, Cold War Kids, The Thermals, Kay Kay and His Weathered Underground

STS9 (Sound Tribe Sector 9)

A combination of hippie jam rock and electronic music with a grand light show. I always feel sorry for the drummer, who stands out as one of the best drummers I've seen live. It's torturous playing for as long as they play, especially with the output he puts forth. I'll be hitting double digits in STS9 shows soon. I guess I like them live.

Roseland, Portland
Wednesday, February 9th, 2011
$25
Tickets go on sale Saturday, December 4th, at 9:00 a.m.

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Morcheeba

Roseland, Portland
Friday, March 4th, 2011
$20
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, December 1st, at 10:00 a.m.

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Loudon Wainwright III

So your dad is named Loudon, your dad's dad is named Loudon, yet you name your first son Rufus? He obviously wanted a dog. I hear they are much cheaper.

Aladdin, Portland
Monday, January 24th, 2011
$25
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, December 1st, at 11:00 a.m.

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Cold War Kids

Crystal Ballroom, Portland
Thursday, March 3rd, 2011
$18
Tickets go on sale Saturday, December 4th, at 10:00 a.m.

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The Thermals

Branx, Portland
Thursday, January 20th, 2011
$12

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Kay Kay and His Weathered Underground

Backspace, Portland
Saturday, January 15th, 2011
$12 advanced, $15 day of the show

New Shows: Eric Clapton, Yanni, Sarah McLachlan & Friends, Bassnectar

Eric Clapton

Rose Garden, Portland
Monday, February 28th, 2011
$45 to $125

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Yanni

Keller Auditorium, Portland
Wednesday, May 4th, 2011
$35/$95
Tickets go on sale Saturday, December 18th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Sarah McLachlin & Friends

Arlene Schnitzer, Portland
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011
$37.50 / $65
Tickets go on sale Saturday, December 11th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Bassnectar

Appealing to both the hippies and youngsters, Bassnectar has an impressive visual show. Having seen him a couple times, I would recommend it. You don't even have to like his music if you like getting wasted watching crazy television.

Roseland, Portland
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011
$26
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, December 8th, at 9:00 a.m.

Setlist: Grinderman

King Cat Theater, Seattle
Saturday, November 27th, 2010

1. Mickey Mouse And The Goodbye Man
2. Worm Tamer
3. Get It On
4. Heathen Child
5. Evil
6. When My Baby Comes
7. What I Know
8. Honey Bee (Let's Fly To Mars)
9. Kitchenette
10. No Pussy Blues
11. Bellringer Blues

Encore:
12. Palaces of Montezuma
13. When My Love Comes Down
14. Man in the Moon
15. Love Bomb
16. Grinderman

Live Review: The Quick & Easy Boys

Doug Fir, Portland
Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

Portland funk/punk/jam rock trio The Quick & Easy Boys are comprised of a guitar player who looks like a cracked out version of Jimmy Fallon with a bad haircut, a bass player who looks like a younger less athletic sketch of the Fan's Big Suke, and a drummer who now tops my list of "Person I Would Be Least Surprised To Find Out Is Serving Time In Prison." After the first half of the show, the booze started flying, and the memorable moments started revealing their fugly heads.

It all starts with the "Foxy Lady," Jimi Hendrix rendition, with a crowd member stripped down to his underwear dancing on stage. He was facing the right side of the crowd when his drawers were pulled down by the bass player. Picturing a narrow minded homophobic male having pushed his way to the front of the crowd, only to be met by a fully nude man a couple feet from his face still makes me crack up.

Later on, the drummer (who appears to be the mascot, and definition of a Quick & Easy Boy) petitioned the crowd to bring them shots of whiskey. Local celeb, "Free Throw Guy," was the first to arrive with shots. Nice work Free Throw Guy.

Later in the evening, the naked dancer re-appeared on stage, and the drummer, wearing nothing but boxers, emerged from behind his kit to briefly dance with him. I thought a real life "sword fight," was about the ensue. After another shot, the drummer dropped his boxers while standing on the drum stool.

I imagine the conversation the next morning between drummer and friend went something like this:

Friend: "Man, you looked wasted last night."
Drummer: "Yeah, I feel like crap. I'm not sure I remember much after the Life of Riley."
Friend: "The Doug Fir was crazy."
Drummer: "Really, we ended up at the Doug Fir? Who was playing?"

I know I'm going to eventually get punched in the face for writing reviews like this. It's insulting, dirty, ruthless, and mildly immature, but it's meant to be entertaining, which is exactly what this show was all about. Some people take life too seriously. If anyone can read a review like this, and chuckle instead of getting pissed off, it's these guys. (Note to law enforcement and owners of the Doug Fir, I tend to glorify events, no one actually got naked. Settle down already).

All kidding aside, having seen this band once before, the guitar player was the main reason I came back. He is one of the more bad-ass lesser known guitarists in the region. Aside from the memorable antics, watching his skills was worth the price of admission. Not to take anything away from the rest of the band. They played all out for an hour and 45 minutes straight, which included covers of Robert Palmer's, "Simply Irresistible," and David Bowie's, "Moonage Daydream." The bass player has a soulful multi-ranging voice and was doing the funk dance the entire show. As for the drummer, [thinking...], you still creep me out.

Either way, The Quick & Easy Boys are exceedingly fun live, and more than worth the price of admission. With their following still relatively small (there were about 175 people at this show), they are much more affordable than paying to see the next sensitive indie flop loved by the Internet community. Don't expect them to get naked, but expect a engaging, energetic, and entertaining performance. Better yet, expect to have fun, which is what live music should be all about.

New Shows: Trombone Shorty & Orleans Ave/Los Amigos Invisibles, Justin Townes Earl, Gary Myrick & the Figures, Morning Teleportation/Mimicking Birds

Trombone Shorty & Orleans Ave/Los Amigos Invisibles

Dante's, Portland
Tuesday, February 8th, 2011
$18

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Justin Townes Earl

Mississippi Studios, Portland
Sunday, February 20th, 2011
$15 advanced, $17 day of the show

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Gary Myrick & The Figures

Myrick is best known as the guy who replaced Stevie Ray Vaughn in Kracker Jack.

Aladdin, Portland
Saturday, February 26th, 2011
$20
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, November 24th, at 11:00 a.m.

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Morning Teleportation (w/Mimicking Birds)

A couple bands signed to Isaac Brock's label Glacial Pace. Morning Teleportation is pretty wild live. Mimicking Birds are much more mellow live, but own one of my favorite albums of 2010. I would recommend checking out their self-titled debut.

Holocene, Portland
Sunday, December 12th, 2010
$6 advanced, $8 day of the show

New Shows: Bone Thugs-n-Harmony, Baths, Thee Oh Sees, School of Seven Bells

Bone Thugs-n-Harmony

If this is the last show at Berbati's, way to go out with a bang (although I'd guess they add a New Year's Eve show).

Berbati's Pan, Portland
Thursday, December 30th, 2010
$25 ($100 VIP)
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, November 24th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Baths

Holocene, Portland
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011
No ticket information available

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Thee Oh Sees

The East End, Portland
Friday, December 10th, 2010
$10

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School of Seven Bells (Opening for Interpol)

Roseland, Portland
Saturday, January 29th, 2011
$29

New Shows: Ryan Bingham & the Dead Horses, Joshua Raddin, Electric Six, Super Diamond, Nicole Atkins

Ryan Bingham & the Dead Horses

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Saturday, February 19th, 2011
$17
Tickets go on sale Saturday, November 20th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Joshua Raddin

Crystal Ballroom, Portland
Thursday, March 10th, 2011
$16.50
Tickets go on sale Friday, November 26th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Electric Six

Dante's, Portland
Sunday, March 27th, 2011
$12

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Super Diamond

I don't usually support cover bands, but Neil Diamond is a different beast. I'm not ashamed to admit I've had a blast seeing Super Diamond live, even if their bass player creeps me out.

Dante's, Portland
Friday, February 4th, 2011
$18

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Nicole Atkins

She is really thin. She must be on one of those trendy diets.

Mississippi Studios, Portland
Sunday, February 13th, 2011
$12 advanced, $14 day of the show

Live Review: Alice In Chains/Deftones/Mastodon

Memorial Coliseum, Portland
Saturday, October 9th, 2010

Mastodon

Stoner Metal at is finest. It doesn't seem like Stoner Metal listening to their albums, but they jam live, routinely playing songs ten minutes and longer, with a trippy monitor/light show.

The highlight was when the double necked guitar made an appearance. I have not attended enough metal shows, so I can say this was the first time I've seen it live. Brent Hinds played the top neck of the guitar for the first five minutes of the song, but as each minute passed, you could feel the anticipation of the crowd for the switch increase. For such an insignificant event on the grand scheme of the show, the crowd went nuts when he finally did switched necks.

I always thought learning the 12 string guitar would make playing any type of guitar pedestrian. I'm now thinking learning the double neck would have a similar virtuoso quality. I'm going to take it one further. I want to learn the double necked 12 string. I'll call it the 24. Mastering the 24 will make learning the pedal steel with my feet a cake walk.

It is hard to say Mastodon didn't steal the show, because they pretty much did. They will get my money again.

Deftones

Have you ever been pepper sprayed? Me neither, but I've been close enough to know it is a feeling I never want to experience.

The Deftones hold a special place in my heart because of this story. Shortly after I moved to Portland, my roommate and I were blaring, "Passenger," on repeat after a long night of drinking. Occasionally, this barbaric behavior is deemed unacceptable by neighbors. The police arrived soon after the song started for the eighth time.

My on/off idiot switch has worked well over the years. I can curse in front of friends, but avoid the fuck word in public. When I eat a terrible meal, I don't tell the cook (s)he sucks. When I'm holding a sign saying "Pinstripes Are For Pussies," in Yankee Stadium, and am approached by a mob of fans with rope, glass beer bottles, and concrete mixer, I know it's time to put the sign away, compliment their attire, and run. That is why when the cops asked us to cut the music, I was quick to oblige. However, my then roommate's on/off idiot switch was jammed, which happened way too often when he was drunk.

I'm not sure exactly what happened next. I was in the other room trying not to laugh out loud when he got pepper sprayed, and I started violently coughing. My eyes were watering, and I could barely breathe. I couldn't even get my camcorder out for youtube hilarity. He spent the night in the drunk tank. That story still cracks me up.

So, "Passenger," was one of the highlights of the night. Sure it's the, "Somebody's Watching Me," of the Deftones catalog, their big hit with the uber popular guest vocalist. The die-hards in the crowd didn't seem too enthralled, but I was pumping my fist and laughing uncontrollably at the same time.

Alice In Chains

I know why I attended this show (Mastodon and the Deftones), but I don't know why I stuck around for the headliner. Being a huge Alice in Chains fan growing up, the death of Layne Staley hurt me more than the death of any musician. He is Alice in Chains, so seeing someone else sing his songs was painful. It was like watching the girl who broke your heart having sex with another man with thousands of people cheering them on. I went through the Kubler-Ross five stages of grief in a matter of moments:

1. Denial - This can't be happening. Nooooooooo?
2. Anger - Why the fuck are all of you cheering?
3. Bargaining - Excuse me sir, if I give you $20, will you tie this t-shirt around my throat and squeeze until I quit breathing?
4. Depression - Tears rolling down cheeks, continually yelling, "WHY?"
5. Acceptance - What the fuck, this show sucks. I'm thirsty.

New lead singer dude, I mean no disrespect, you stumbled into a position where you will make a lot of money trying to sound like Layne. It's not your fault, and you absolutely hit Layne's voice perfectly on "And We Die Young." I blame Jerry Cantrell for allowing this to happen. With so many songs about the heroin addiction that eventually took Layne's life, there were certain song inclusions that had me feeling like they were stomping on his grave. Had they played "Junkhead", I swear I would have ran on stage with fists flying.

Jerry, please change this band's name to Allie in Chains. This can't even meet the strict criteria of Tribute Band. This is a cover band, and promoting it as the real thing is not fair.

Allie In Chains Setlist

New Shows: Josh Ritter, Best Coast/Wavves, The Shaky Hands

Josh Ritter

Crystal Ballroom, Portland
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011
$22
Tickets go on sale Friday, November 19th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Best Coast w/Wavves

Hawthorne Theatre, Portland
Saturday, February 19th, 2011
$17

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The Shaky Hands

Backspace, Portland
Friday, December 31st, 2010
$10 advanced, $12 day of the show

New Shows: My Chemical Romance, Dashboard Confessional, Underoath, Wire

My Chemical Romance

Roseland, Portland
Friday, April 1st, 2011
$38.75
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, November 17th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Dashboard Confessional

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Friday, January 14th, 2011
$25
Tickets go on sale Thursday, November 18th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Underoath

Roseland, Portland
Tuesday, February 4th, 2011
$20
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, November 17th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Wire

Dante's, Portland
Tuesday, April 12th, 2011
$20

New Shows: The Decemberists, Lykke Li, Ra Ra Riot, Man or Astroman, The Concretes

The Decemberists

Arlene Schnitzer, Portland
Saturday, February 19th, 2011
$32
Tickets go on sale Saturday, November 20th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Lykke Li

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Saturday, May 28th, 2011
$23
Tickets go on sale Monday, November 15th, at 11:00 a.m.

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Ra Ra Riot

From the 2010 MusicFestNW Live Review:

"If a tree falls in the forest, and the lead singer of Ra Ra Riot switched places with Ezra Koenig, would anyone notice? I'm going to keep this rated PG by saying cellist Alexandra Lawn looked like she was 'dancing with' her instrument."

Hawthorne Theatre, Portland
Wednesday, January 26th, 2011
$13.50
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, November 17th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Man or Astroman

Doug Fir, Portland
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011
$15
Tickets go on sale Friday, November 19th, at 10:00 a.m.

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The Concretes

Doug Fir, Portland
Saturday, February 26th, 2011
$13
Tickets go on sale Friday, November 19th, at 10:00 a.m.

New Shows: The Get Up Kids, Rebelution, Escape the Fate, Eluveitie

The Get Up Kids

Hawthorne Theatre, Portland
Tuesday, February 1st, 2011
$20
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, November 17th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Rebelution

Roseland, Portland
Thursday, January 20th, 2011
$20
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, November 17th, at 9:00 a.m.

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Escape the Fate

Roseland, Portland
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011
$16
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, November 17th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Eluveitie

Hawthorne Theatre, Portland
Wednesday, February 16th, 2011
$16
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, November 17th, at 10:00 a.m.

Live Review: Bloody Beetroots - Death Crew 77

Roseland Theater, Portland
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010

Stage Diving 101: A lot of people don't like getting kicked in the head. If a person is about to fall on top of you, a natural reaction for many is to get out of the way. Those sandwiched between each other in the center main pit at a concert have nowhere to go. Their only option is to catch you.

I don't take that much pleasure in other's misfortunes. Sure, watching "less than athletic" folks running to catch a bus is immensely hilarious, especially when they fall short of their goal. Rookie Stage Diver was a more rewarding experience on the comedic scale. He chose the path less taken, and jumped off the edge of the stage where the crowd was less dense. The people surrounding him trying to help him off the ground was priceless. Ahhhh, you silly bastard, you had my ass cracked up.

The Bloody Beetroots are an electronic duo from Italy, who wear masks to hide their identity. Masked man number one is set on the left side of the stage behind his keys/electronic noise makers. At the middle of the stage was masked man number two, perched between a wall of keyboards and electronic devices. To the far right, a new addition, a third masked man playing drums (that's right, an EDM drummer). Actually, the "Death Crew 77" refers to their live performances with the drummer.

I cannot say enough about how cool it was seeing a live drummer performing EDM. Note to struggling electronic musicians, add a drummer to your shows and get people talking. You can find a capable drummer at Pioneer Square who will work for Carl's Jr. chicken sandwiches. Try it out, seriously.

Another grand addition to the stereotypical EDM show was an electric guitar, played by center-staged masked man number two, who also sang what few lyrics they had. Actually, I can't recite any lyrics other than the song they counted to four, because he spent most of the time screaming. At times it felt a lot more like an industrial metal show, which was fine by me. One minor complaint was the nearly non-existing light show. Don't you know half the crowd is rollin?

The usual EDM suspects were there, Shirtless Baggy Pants Guy, Glowstick Girl, Crowd Surfing Somersault Dude (one of my favorites), Put Me On Your Shoulders I Can't See Anything Chick, and Crooked Flat-Brimmed Hat Guy. I was probably the only one there with sandals and long hair. At one point, I felt obligated to hit up the balcony, feeling a little out of place dancing next to teenagers (well that, and I was thirsty). At least there wasn't a line to get a beer, because I was one of the few over 21 allowed upstairs.

Hanging out with myself and three other elders sipping beer, I started thinking, am I the only one here who has seen the Fleet Foxes live? Can anyone here name a Bob Dylan song? What am I going to do when I near my 40s, and an EDM act I really want to see is announced? I'm still going to want to jump up and down simultaneously with 1,000 other people. I think I'm having a mini mid-life crisis writing this. Maybe I'll just wear a mask, baggy pants, and a flat-brimmed hat?

Fuck it. I like electronic music. As long as there are people like Rookie Stage Diver to keep me entertained, I'll still be there.

New Shows: The Nels Cline Singers, Telekinesis, The Handsome Family, The Angry Orts

The Nels Cline Singers

Wilco guitar god's side project. Being at the Doug Fir, you can actually, like, see him. Up close even.

Doug Fir, Portland
Sunday, January 30th, 2011
$14
Tickets go on sale Friday, November 12th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Telekinesis

Doug Fir, Portland
Sunday, February 20th, 2011
No ticket information available

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The Handsome Family

Doug Fir, Portland
Friday, January 21st, 2011
$12
Tickets go on sale Saturday, November 13th, at 10:00 a.m.

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The Angry Orts

"Orts, Orts, Orts, Orts." I enjoyed this NW up-and-coming band live. Get your chanters ready.

Doug Fir, Portland
Wednesday, December 15th, 2010
$7

New Shows: Gang of Four, Swans, Ke$ha, The Radio Dept

Gang of Four

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Thursday, February 17th, 2011
$24
Tickets go on sale Saturday, November 13th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Swans

Roseland, Portland
Sunday, February 27th, 2011
$20 GA, $30 Reserved Balcony
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, November 10th, at 10 a.m.

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Ke$ha

Yuk (the music that is).

Crystal Ballroom, Portland
Tuesday, February 15th, 2011
$25
Tickets go on sale Friday, November 19th, at 10:00 a.m.

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The Radio Dept

Doug Fir, Portland
Sunday, February 13th, 2011
$12

Holy Shit: Ween Live In Portland

Ween is like pop music if it was created by someone who is funny and interesting, who is not trying to appeal to 14 year old girls. It's pop for adults, yet they blend all genres of music, usually on one album. Take La Cucaracha for example, four of the first seven tunes include the Latin influenced horn song "Fiesta," the southern folksy "Learnin To Love," the Heavy Metal ass-kicking "With My Own Bare Hands," and the reggae entry, "The Fruit Man." They even throw in a Kanye-esque autotune song, and finish album with one of my favorites, "Your Party." I'm not sure why anyone would consider a song about attending a dinner party to be interesting, which is pretty much the point. It's not.

Just like how teenagers jump up and down screaming when Justin Beiber takes the stage, I'm not ashamed to admit I found myself jumping up and down screaming during Ween's Sasquatch headlining set earlier this year. Okay, there was a bit of whiskey involved, but still. I'm looking forward to round 2.

Crystal Ballroom, Portland
Wednesday, January 26th, 2011
$35
Tickets go on sale Friday, November 12th, at 10:00 a.m.

For Sale: Ghostland Observatory Ticket, Way Below Face ($5)

Every November 11th, the little known binarynymphzoea larva hatches on tree branches throughout the Northwest. They feast on the stems of leaves, furthering the process of abscission. For every hundred leaves dropping dead, one leaf drops while still living, due to the binarynymphzoea. When the larva matures, they move to land, and wreak havoc on the felinae species, attacking while their prey are in a dormant state. Once infected, the felinae exhibit venereal symptoms similar to that of crabs in homo sapiens.

Knowing this phenomena occurs, the felinae species must fight back, and kill the binarynymphzoea before maturation, and mobility. There is a unknown bloody war occurring each fall. When you see a cat staring attentively upwards toward a tree, it is the binarynymphzoea they seek. The concentrated glance towards these land-larva is known as a "Ghostland Observatory," since larva is Latin for ghost.

This year is a huge anniversary for the binarynymphzoea. Being obvious binary fans, 11/11/10 will be their biggest celebration since 2001. In other words, I overlooked this fact when I purchased a ticket to the Ghostland Observatory show. November 11th, I will instead be volunteering my time to the Portland Fire & Rescue, helping get kitties out of trees, putting much needed smiles on the faces of helplessly concerned owners.

This is why I need to sell my ticket. If you want it for $5, email me knowidyuh@gmail.com.

New Shows: Galactic, Big Freedia, Acid Mothers Temple & the Melting Paraiso U.F.O.

Galactic with Special Guests Cryil Neville and Corey Henry

Crystal Ballroom, Portland
Saturday, March 26th, 2011
$22
Tickets go on sale Saturday, November 6th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Big Freedia

Holocene, Portland
Friday, December 10th, 2010
$13

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Acid Mothers Temple & the Melting Paraiso U.F.O.

In the running for greatest band name of all-time. I've always been partial to ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead, and Scary Kids Scaring Kids. Popularity aside, doesn't Death Cab For Cutie have one of the best?

Doug Fir, Portland
Saturday, March 26th, 2011
$13
Tickets go on sale Saturday, November 6th, at 10:00 a.m.

New Shows: Doobie Brothers/Michael Franti & Spearhead, Girl Talk, Deerhoof, Pete Yorn/Ben Kweller

Doobie Brothers w/Michael Franti & Spearhead

And I thought Mavis Staples & Billy Bragg was an odd combo.

Roseland, Portland
Friday, December 10th, 2010
$42.50 GA, $69.50 Reserved Balcony

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Girl Talk

The most well known mash-up artist of all-time? I would say so. Playing "name that tune" is part of the joy of a Girl Talk show. He focuses on modern hip hop and pop, mixing it with all the classic tunes from the past 40 years. He still mixes in obscure bands, which make his mash-ups so great. The negatators will say all he does is press play on his laptop, but it's still so much fun.

Roseland, Portland
Thursday, March 17th, 2011
$25
Tickets go on sale Friday, November 5th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Deerhoof

Holocene, Portland
Saturday, February 26th, 2011
$15

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Pete Yorn w/Ben Kweller

I always thought this was the same guy?

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Sunday, April 3rd, 2011
$25
Tickets go on sale Friday, November 5th, at 10:00 a.m.

Live Review: Of Montreal/Janelle Monae

Roseland Theater, Portland
Thursday, October 28th, 2010

Carnival [kahr-nuh-vuhl]: a traveling amusement show, having sideshows, rides, etc.

Before I get into the Of Montreal carnival, I must give opener Janelle Monae props. She put on a theatrical show that didn't feel overdone. Her dance moves and voice shone brightly. She was worth the price of admission, and I will definitely pay to see her perform again. What a voice.

As for Of Montreal, let us not forget why they exist. Kevin Barnes has a unique voice (which is quite powerful live), and they've put out some damn good music over the years. That is why the carnivalistic path they chose seems a bit mind boggling. Sure it matches Barnes' flamboyant personality, but what about everyone else in the band? For example, I'm sure the guitar player still digs his job because he gets to play an instrument for a living. But don't you think he longs for the good ole days standing at the front of the stage having panties thrown at him, instead of standing behind a shirtless man dressed as a dwarf doing ballerina spins?

The stage lay out included a large empty semi circle pointing away from front-and-center stage to allow Kevin Barnes and the carnival plenty of room to perform. The "band" filled up the rest of the stage. The actual music was a distant third behind Kevin's showmanship and the carnival's antics, to the point that watching the crowd occasionally jump up and down made me remember I was actually at a concert.

How about that drum solo? Sorry, Kevin had his head under the loin cloth of a nearly naked male dancer, graphically describing his visuals. Remember that really catchy guitar riff? Uh, no, I was distracted by the gigantic paper mache heads shooting confetti over the crowd. How about that bass solo? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention, I was watching Barnes mimicking fucking a pig doggystyle (wait, do pigs fuck like dogs? Can we call this piggystyle instead? Anyone grow up on a farm?)

For one moment though, forget all the costumes, antics, piggystyle fucking, and whatever else occurred leading up to the encore. Janelle Monae and her crew came out to join Of Montreal for the finale, and a Michael Jackson dance party ensued. The bouncers started crowd surfing, the bartenders started pounding drinks, people jumped off the balcony into the crowd, and the front door security snuck in the Burnside locals dragging them upstairs to join the madness. For ten minutes, everything was right in the world.

The three songs covered were "Thriller," "Wanna Be Starting 'Somethin'," and "PYT." Even if I exaggerated a bit above, who doesn't like Michael Jackson? People go nuts over him. Once, I even saw a dancer at a gentleman's club take her clothes off when a Jackson tune came on.

Had this show occurred in March, it might go down as one of the most ridiculous shows I've witnessed. However, being a couple days before Halloween made this a highly entertaining costume party. Based on the definition, I guess it wasn't a carnival after all, they didn't have rides.

New Shows: Interpol, Social Distortion (second show), Amos Lee, Jesus Presley, Buzzov-en

Interpol

Roseland, Portland
Saturday, January 29th, 2011
$29
Tickets go on sale Saturday, November 6th, at 10:00 a.m.

Showbox SODO, Seattle
Friday, January 28th, 2011
$30
Tickets go on sale Saturday, November 6th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Social Distortion (second show)

Crystal Ballroom, Portland
Wednesday, February 9th, 2011
$30
Tickets go on sale Tuesday, November 2nd, at 10:00 a.m.

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Amos Lee

Crystal Ballroom, Portland
Friday, January 21st, 2011
$25
Tickets go on sale Friday, November 5th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Jesus Presley XMAS

Dante's, Portland
Saturday, December 18th, 2010
$10
Tickets go on sale Tuesday, November 2nd, at 10:00 a.m.

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Buzzov-en

Dante's, Portland
Thursday, December 16th, 2010
$12
Tickets go on sale Tuesday, November 2nd, at 10:00 a.m.

New Shows: Ani DiFranco, Cradle of Filth, Little Dragon

Ani DiFranco

Crystal Ballroom, Portland
Sunday, April 17th, 2011
$35
Tickets go on sale Friday, November 5th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Cradle of Filth

No Portland show. Crap. Yes, I like Cradle of Filth. It's weird.

Showbox Theatre, Seattle
Friday, February 11th, 2011
$26
Tickets go on sale Sunday, October 31st, at 10:00 a.m.

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Little Dragon

Doug Fir, Portland
Monday, January 10th, 2011
$13

New Shows: Pink Martini, Mogwai, Jewel, Dick Dale, Filter, Frazey Ford

Pink Martini (Two Shows)

Arlene Schnitzer, Portland
Friday, December 31st, 2010 (Early and Late Show)
$20 - $79
Tickets go on sale Saturday, October 30th, at 10:00 a.m.

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Mogwai

This band has quite the following. I'm a bit surprised they are playing a venue of this size. Even though the show is seven months away, buy early, thank me later.

Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Thursday, May 5th, 2011
$22
Tickets go on sale Monday, November 1st, at 10:00 a.m.

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Jewel (KUPL Holly Ball)

(Insert joke here)

Roseland, Portland
Sunday, December 12th, 2010
$18 ($25 for VIP)
Tickets go on sale Wednesday, November 3rd, at 9:00 a.m.

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Dick Dale

"The King of Surf Guitar."

Dante's, Portland
Wednesday, December 8th, 2010
$20

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Filter

"Hey man, nice shot."

Berbatis Pan, Portland
Saturday, November 20th, 2010
$16

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Frazey Ford

Lead singer of the Be Good Tanyas.

Doug Fir, Portland
Sunday, December 5th, 2010
$12
Tickets go on sale Saturday, October 30th, at 10:00 a.m.

Live Review: She & Him

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, Portland
Friday, October 22nd, 2010

The name She & Him is misleading. This showcase is more like She & Her & Herself & Some Other Guy. They should change their name to Zooey Deschanel & the M. Wardens.

This was my biggest complaint listening to their albums. M. Ward sings a verse on one song, sings background on a couple others, but is otherwise left with strictly guitar duties. I wasn't expecting it to be different live, but I did expect more and extended guitar solos, which didn't happen. When he did sing his featured verse, several ladies in the crowd started howling and whistling, proving the crowd wasn't only comprised of old folks and perverted middle aged men. There were still plenty of the latter. The guy in front of me even had binoculars and was taking pictures! Creepy, right? Okay, that may have been me.

Zooey's voice started out a bit soft on the first two songs, like she wasn't singing directly into the mic, leaving me wondering if she even has a good voice? She does. It may have been technical difficulties, or maybe she started singing louder and closer to the mic. While I expected her to sing, and maybe pound away at a wood block or a tambourine, I wasn't expecting her to play the keyboards or ukulele. Her first venture to the keys included a few elementary notes, which had me thinking it was the extent of her skills. She proved me wrong, as she played the keyboard on several more songs. I can't say she played anything remarkable, but it shows she takes her music serious. Much respect.

"She" engaged the crowd several times between songs, including a story about her grandparents who live in Lake Oswego. She spoke about loving the music scene in Portland. I think she said something about her cat, or hair dresser. She probably thanked the crowd a couple times and cracked a joke or two? Okay, I didn't comprehend a word she said. It was all in slow motion, and my neighbor kept blaring REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling" in my ear. (Edit: I'm now being told no one was playing REO Speedwagon? Uhhh, really? Shit.)

One highlight of the night was the VH1 popular, "In The Sun," which Zooey led the crowd chanting the echo to her chorus. The other was when M. Ward played one of his originals, "Magic Trick." Each time he started whaling on the guitar was a highlight, albeit overshadowed by Zooey jumping up and down and dancing around. It was the, "look at me, I'm a happy cheerleader," dance moves that Karen O and Perry Farrell have mastered. It's so damn cute, and so distracting.

After the show, I walked outside the venue to dry sidewalks. About a half block away, I felt the first rain drop. Two blocks later, the rain was intense. I was soaking wet, and nowhere near dressed for the elements. Having been mostly warm and dry for several weeks leading up to this show, it has been heavy rain and wind since. I can end this review by saying the summer season filled with beautiful sights and vibrant energy culminated with the beautiful sights and vibrant energy of She & Him, leading us to the inevitable transition of seasons. I could say that when Zooey thanked the crowd before disappearing behind the stage curtains, it was parallel to the summer sunshine thanking those who enjoy it before exiting behind the cover of dark clouds.

I can't end with that sappy connection though. The change in weather sucks, I want the sun back, and I'm blaming Zooey.