Saturday, November 6, 2010

For Sale: Ghostland Observatory Ticket, Way Below Face ($5)

Every November 11th, the little known binarynymphzoea larva hatches on tree branches throughout the Northwest. They feast on the stems of leaves, furthering the process of abscission. For every hundred leaves dropping dead, one leaf drops while still living, due to the binarynymphzoea. When the larva matures, they move to land, and wreak havoc on the felinae species, attacking while their prey are in a dormant state. Once infected, the felinae exhibit venereal symptoms similar to that of crabs in homo sapiens.

Knowing this phenomena occurs, the felinae species must fight back, and kill the binarynymphzoea before maturation, and mobility. There is a unknown bloody war occurring each fall. When you see a cat staring attentively upwards toward a tree, it is the binarynymphzoea they seek. The concentrated glance towards these land-larva is known as a "Ghostland Observatory," since larva is Latin for ghost.

This year is a huge anniversary for the binarynymphzoea. Being obvious binary fans, 11/11/10 will be their biggest celebration since 2001. In other words, I overlooked this fact when I purchased a ticket to the Ghostland Observatory show. November 11th, I will instead be volunteering my time to the Portland Fire & Rescue, helping get kitties out of trees, putting much needed smiles on the faces of helplessly concerned owners.

This is why I need to sell my ticket. If you want it for $5, email me knowidyuh@gmail.com.

5 comments:

  1. Oh my!! I'm sure this $5 treasure was gobbled up already, but...if not, please let me know and I'll gladly make a journey downtown.

    Hopeful I'll be dancing to vibrate on Thursday.

    Jake
    360.430.9912 or jjo@propelinsurance.com

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  2. um. big words funny one.

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  3. If this is still available, I'll pick it up first thing tomorrow. I live and work downtown.

    503.416.7059

    Thanks!
    -Kate

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  4. Shouldn't you be selling this ticket for $10? I think my head just exploded.

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  5. Sorry everyone, I sold the ticket a couple minutes ago. I'm removing the craigslist add now.

    Googs, you don't understand. Selling the ticket for $10 would mean I support the binarynymphzoea. I support the poor kitties stuck in the trees, thus the volunteerism. Adding up each digit from the date of the show equals five (11/11/10), thus the $5 sale price. It's more about me shaking my fist at those tiny fuckers.

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